- "Gaylord Lion: Over-educated, under-appreciated."
- — Montague H. Withnail
Gaylord Lion was a scholar and an intellectual, who appeared in the low-budget children's edutainment show Peppermint Place.
Gaylord Lion's origins are unknown, but was is known about him is that he was employed as a scholar on Peppermint Place, the slightly less-satanic version of Peppermint Park. He taught children about blocks, pencils and koala bears. His current wearabouts are unknown.
It is often speculated that Gaylord Lion is, in fact, not gay at all, but actually has a fetish for weasels.
- "War... I don't like that word."
- — Gaylord's anti-war sentiment.
- "That was highly educational, wasn't it?"
- — Gaylord being smug.
- "True or false... a lead pencil contains lead? Well, if you said yes, you're wrong."
- — Gaylord tricking small children into getting a question wrong.
- "Graphite feels greasy to the touch."
- — Gaylord explaining graphite.